Am I banned from this bus ... ?

Female bus driver stops her bus at a bus stop, as there's a man waiting there.
Doors open and this conversation takes place - for real ...


"Am I banned from this bus ...?"

"Pardon ?!?"

"Am I banned from this bus, 'cos I'm banned from three other buses ..."


"What? Why, why are you banned?"

"'cos I carry something on my person"

He's wearing tracky bottoms and a large coat, he could be carrying anything.

"What do you mean, you carry something ...?"

"Have you got a twin sister?  'Cos she's banned me from her bus?"

At this point, I'm glancing around me, looking for the hidden cameras. 


"So why did she ban you?"

So, she has a twin sister, who is also a bus driver, covering the same area.  This is pure comedy gold.  Ricky Gervais where are you?

"Well errr, I don't want to say too loud because people might not like me getting on the bus ..."


I'm feeling pretty confident about what 'it' is ...

"Is it an animal?"

"Yeah, but it's kept in this pocket (gestures to internal coat pocket), I won't get it out."

"What is it?"

"Err, it begins with, um, 'r' ..."

"Is it a RAT ?!?!"

"Yeah, but it can't get out.  Can I get on your bus?"

She's thinking about it.

"Umm, Okay"


And that's why it's good to use public transport.  That performance only cost me £2.40, but was truly priceless.


And no, I didn't see it.